


Clowning Around

by SunshineSage



Category: Naruto, Sasuke (TV)
Genre: And Naruto, But they are switches, Clowns, Content, Cursed, Don't hate me for this, Funny, Humor, M/M, MEME SMUT, Meme, PWP, Smut, Top Naruto, Yaoi, bottom sasuke, bye, cursing, explicit - Freeform, i don’t know, it's a meme, lol, love it though, naruto is a clown fucker, sasuke is a clown, this ended up being way too long for what it was, to say, what else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:01:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23835049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunshineSage/pseuds/SunshineSage
Summary: Naruto has been divorced for three years, and all the tension is getting to his head. He's even started to findclownsattractive. The one that's working Boruto's birthday party won't stop invading his brain..It's a lot to come to terms with.Can he handle that?
Relationships: NaruSasu, SNS - Relationship, SasuNaru, SasuNaruSasu
Comments: 12
Kudos: 118





	Clowning Around

**Author's Note:**

> hey hey hey! i was peer pressured into this, but that's a good thing bc i...
> 
> really enjoyed writing it.
> 
> if you don't develop a clown kink after you read this,  
> or at least a kink for sasuke (or any uchiha..think about it) as a clown..  
> that means i didn't succeed.
> 
> LOL in all actuality! this is 100% a joke smut.
> 
> apparently i'm good at making cursed content.
> 
> i hope you guys have fun reading! 
> 
> <3 have fun
> 
> \- sage.

“Boruto!” Naruto yelled as he walked into his Hinata’s house, “happy 10th birthday, old man!”

“Shut up Dad! You’re old!” He grumbled, pushing him out of his hug, “Geez, relax!”

Naruto and Hinata may be divorced now, but their friendship is unbreakable. The fire in their relationship mutually died out, and neither of them resent the other for it. Even their kids understood. They refused to lie to them about that kind of stuff.

“Hey Naruto,” Hinata smiled, giving Naruto a hug, “Did I see Kiba outside, too?”

“He pulled up right after me,” he winked.

“I’ll go say hi, then,” she smiled as she walked passed him.

Himawari ran up to Naruto, “Daddy!”

“Hey Hima!” He smiled as he bent down to pick up his daughter and spin her around, “and how’s my beautiful daughter?”

“Good! How are you?”

“Better now that I get to see you!” He kissed her head before putting her down. They walked together to to go hang out with Boruto.

“Get anything cool yet?” 

Boruto grinned, “I got the video games you told Mom to give me.”

“Yeah?” He ruffled his son’s hair, “And?”

“They’re so fun, Dad! You’re really the best.”

“We’ll have to play this weekend.”

“I’ll kick your ass!”

“Not if I kick yours,” Naruto chuckled.

Himawari tugged on Boruto’s shirt, “Brother, let’s go outside!”

“Okay,” Boruto hopped up, and followed after her.

Kiba walked in then, “Naruto!”

He turned around, a big grin on his face, “KIBA! How are you, sexy thing?” 

Kiba put down the stuff he had brought, and then hugged Naruto, “I’m good, I’m good. It’s so nice to see you!”

Naruto held him tighter before pulling away, “You too. I hope you’re treating my ex well.”

“Better than you ever did,” he stuck his tongue out.

Hinata blushed, and Naruto laughed, “You’re probably not wrong.”

They kept up conversation, and welcomed the other kids and parents that showed up. Hinata and Naruto had the same mutual friends for years, so it was a party for the adults _and_ the kids. The only thing that pissed Naruto off was..

He was the only single one there. It’s been 3 years since their divorce, and he still hasn’t found a person to bring to these sorts of things.

He was always the only one showing up alone.

The party had been going for a couple hours now, and it was getting close to cake time, but first…

“Hm, isn’t the entertainment supposed to be here?” Sakura asked before slamming down the rest of her drink, “I hired him to start at two.”

“It’s 1:50,” Naruto grumbled, “he’s not late. He’s just also not early,” the blonde stood up. His cheeks were slightly pink. He was only a little tipsy, barely feeling anything, but it was there.

“Can you go check, Naruto?” Sakura asked, pouting, “Please?”

“Ugh, fine.”

He went inside, and looked out the window to check outside to see if the entertainment was here yet. A van was outside, and a man dressed as clown with it. It looked like he was getting ready to get started.

“I can’t believe Sakura hired a fucking clown,” he rolled his eyes before opening the door and walking out. “Hey, you need help?”

The man looked over, a cigarette between his red, overdrawn lips, “Is it two yet?”

“No, but it’s close—“

“I start at two,” he said again before looking back into the truck of his car, stuffing his pockets with…toys and party tricks, probably.

What a grumpy ass clown. Although, Naruto was certain he’d be just as grumpy if he had to dress up like that and do kids’ birthday parties. 

“Alright fair,” Naruto shrugged, but didn’t move.

The clown looked over, glaring now, “Can I help you?”

“I uh,” Naruto’s face reddened more. This man seems..oddly pretty. And his voice… _He’s a grumpy fucking clown, Naruto! YOU NEED TO GET LAID._ “I just figured I’d walk you in, so you didn’t have to knock.”

“Hm,” he muttered again, closing the trunk to his car after everything was prepped, then putting his cigarette out and throwing it into a trashcan, “Then lead the way.”

“Right,” Naruto started toward his house, not glancing back at the clown in case his thoughts started acting up again. “By the way, what’s your name?”

“Sasuke,” he pulled gloves out of one of his pockets to put on, “but my stage name is Uchi, so refer to me as such while I’m working.”

Naruto nodded, and then opened the door into the house, “Everyone is out back,” blue eyes watched as the man dressed as a clown entered, his too-large shoes making noises as he walked. 

Sasuke eyed the table, seeing the drinks…

“You want a bit before you start?”

Dark eyes glanced back at him, and he smirked, “Really? Parents never let me drink on the job.”

“You’re supposed to entertain _children_ ,” Naruto rolled his eyes, “I almost feel the need to drink just to watch my own kids when my ex-wife doesn’t have them. I don’t know how the fuck you manage to do—” He gestured at Sasuke’s whole get-up, which he annoyingly pulls off, “—this.”

He didn’t know why he felt the need to throw in that he was divorced, but..

Well, he did know, he was just currently in denial for being instantly attracted to a fucking _clown._

“I need money, it was hiring, and I happen to be good at party tricks,” Sasuke smirked before he took a sip of the drink he poured.

Naruto watched as he drank with such elegance.. It shouldn’t be possible to be goddamn attractive in a stupid clown suit with stupid shoes, the ugly wig, the makeup, although his was tasteful, and the nose. The _nose_ …

Why does he want to honk it?

“I mean, what more reason do you need,” he continued the conversation, taking another sip of his drink afterward.

“Hm,” he chuckled, and Naruto almost pushed him against the wall right there, “I believe it’s 2 now.”

“Right,” Naruto chugged the rest of his drink, “Let’s get you outside, Uchi-haha.”

Sasuke’s eyes were looking directly into Naruto’s, “How’d you know?”

“Hm?” His voice was stuck in his throat, he couldn’t manage anything else under that gaze…

“Never mind,” he blinked once more and then walked outside. 

The kids instantly got excited, and all sat down to watch him. 

Naruto poured himself another drink, trying to ease the nerves he just started to get.

 _Hopefully seeing him work makes this go away,_ he thought..wrongfully.

Everyone else was talking amongst themselves while Sasuke was entertaining the children. All Naruto could think about was walking up to him and honking the stupid red thing on his face, and how good he looks when blowing up balloons and making animals. He must have amazing stamina to do all that juggling and party tricks, while entertaining kids. He even had Boruto and Himawari up as special guests for some tricks. They were totally loving him, too. He was a hit.

And Naruto wanted to hit on him.

Sasuke finally finished his show by honking his nose, and Naruto was close to splashing himself in the face with cold water because holy _shit_? He really wants to do that.

And maybe kiss the overdrawn lips…

_What the fuck is wrong with me?_

“Cake time!” Ino stood up from her chair, then helped Sakura up, wrapping her arm around her waist, “Let’s all go in.”

Sai stood up after that, kissing both his wives on their cheeks before following them inside. Hinata and Kiba were next, then Temari and Shikamaru. The kids shortly after. Only Naruto and Sasuke were left outside..

Alone.

Naruto walked over to him, “Want help cleaning up?”

Sasuke glanced up from where he was crouched down, picking his things off the floor, “I usually do this part by myself.”

“Okay,” he answered awkwardly, “You’re leaving?”

“Well, the party is almost over, right?”

“Yeah,” Naruto looked inside. He has to go in and sing happy birthday, “but uh, we still have to pay you. So don’t forget,” he looked back down.

Their eyes met for a moment, and Naruto swears there’s a spark, but he chooses to blame it on the alcohol _once again_.

“Trust me. I won’t. Go sing to your child,” Sasuke smirked before waving his hands, and continuing to clean up.

Naruto walked inside, and helped Hinata walk the cake to the table as everyone sang. Boruto blew out the candles, and then Naruto cut and served everyone a piece. Sasuke had just walked inside—

And for some reason, Naruto felt like all eyes were on him. Oh no, can everyone here read his thoughts…

_Nobody here knows you want to fuck the clown, Naruto…right?_

“Do you want cake?” Sakura asked, “I know you’re only here for work, but—“

“No, I don’t like sweets,” he spoke easily, “thank you though.”

She smiled softly, “Of course. Heading out?”

“After I get paid,” he looked at Naruto, then back at her, “yeah,” then down to Boruto, who was eating his cake, “Happy birthday, Boruto. If you keep being as strong and powerful as you are, you’ll be able to easily kick your dad’s ass.”

Boruto laughed and fist bumped him, “That is all I want! You’re the coolest clown I’ve ever met, Uchi.”

“I’m just the coolest ever,” he shrugged, then patted Himawari’s head, “and you will be right in Boruto’s footsteps, until you get even stronger than him.”

She smiled up at him, “I’ll kick Boruto’s ass?”

Sasuke’s eyes widened, he didn’t even realize his own slip of the tongue! It’s literally his job to be around kids, and he just—

“Yeah,” Naruto cut in then, “You’ll totally kick Boruto’s ass.”

The parents and kids were laughing, while Boruto was throwing insults at his dad for saying something like that _on his birthday_ , but all of that was white nose to them both because Naruto and Sasuke’s eyes would not leave each other.

“I’ll walk you out, Uchi-haha?” Naruto made the joke _again_ , but this time the kids laughed at it since they were there, making him feel more validated.

He stood up, and said his goodbyes to everyone once more before walking to the door with Naruto, “I meant to tell you earlier. My clown name is a play on my last name,” Sasuke started taking his gloves off, “which is Uchiha.”

Naruto laughed again, “Is it really? I just thought of the uchiwa fan! I love that,” he pulled his wallet out, and started taking out the cash. He really didn’t want Sasuke to go yet…

“You wanna smoke?” Sasuke asked as he pulled his pack out.

“Uh, the kids—“

“We can sit in my van,” he started walking toward the car.

..Naruto really did want to smoke with this stupidly attractive clown…

Anything to spend more time with him.

“I uh, lemme go check,” he went to go inside, but a hand grabbed his before he managed to.

“It’ll be fine, Naruto. Trust me,” he turned, and walked toward his car, still holding Naruto’s hand, pulling him with him.

…Naruto would do _anything_ for this man to call him by his name like that over and over again. “Right, alright.” 

They sat in the back of his van, which is really roomy. Probably because it’s where he changes for work, which meant that the sexy clown was likely planning on planning on changing back to normal before he leaves… 

Sasuke went to hand Naruto a cigarette. Instead of grabbing it, though, Naruto’s hand reached up and honked the clown nose.

Dark eyes glanced over, glaring at him for doing such a thing, but all Naruto could do was laugh. 

“I have wanted,” he was breathless, “to do that since I saw you!” He really couldn’t stop laughing, “That was so satisfying!”

Sasuke still hadn’t spoken a word, instead he grabbed onto a flower at his belt, aimed it at Naruto, and sprayed him in the face. The little smirk in the painted smile on his face was evidence enough of how pleased he was with his choice. 

“Hey!” Naruto pouted, “What the—“

Sasuke aimed again, right into his mouth. This time laughter escaped, “Oh my god! I didn’t think I’d make it!”

“You little—“ Naruto pushed Sasuke just slightly, and then the other pushed back.

“Little what? Say it,” he took a drag from his cigarette, eyes still playfully watching Naruto. 

“Brat.”

“Hm, that obvious?”

Naruto’s face heated up slightly. Is Sasuke…flirting with him?

The blonde finally lit his cigarette, and leaned back, further into the trunk.

“You can go in more. There’s plenty of room back there,” Sasuke slid back. 

He doesn’t have to keep wording things like this.

“I practically live in here.”

Naruto followed him further in, so he closed the door from a button on his keys, “Hey what’re you—“

“I have to change.”

Naruto’s throat was dry.

“O-oh right. I’m sure it’s hot in all of —“ he gestured toward him again, “that.”

Sasuke huffed and then turned around, facing away from Naruto. He took his wig off first, revealing _gorgeous_ long, dark hair that was in a messy french braid, probably to help from falling out of the wig. He started unzipping the top of his suit, first revealing the back of his neck, and then shoulders..

He was stripping slowly.

Naruto couldn’t stop staring.

As the much-too colorful suit dropped lower down his arm, a sleeve of the black tank top he was wearing underneath it fell down, and the blonde forgot to breath. Once both of his arms were out, he stopped, leaving the rest of the clothes on on at the hips. Blue eyes watched beautiful, pale, toned arms as he reached up and started unravelling his hair out of the braid, the cigarette still being held between his lips, smoke filling up the car.

Naruto is _so_ into this clown.

Sasuke turned around to face Naruto again once his hair was down, and wavy. He sat with his legs crossed, and quickly put his hair up in a high pony tail, with some stray bangs, then started taking his too-big-shoes off…

_He has really long eyelashes._

The ash from Naruto’s cigarette fell onto his leg, and Sasuke snorted.

“First time smoking?”

He looked down and realized what the stupid clown was talking about, and his cheeks heated up slightly, “I just,” what the fuck is he supposed to say! Sorry, I was distracted by how attracted I am to you even though we just met… _and_ you’re a fucking clown? “Do you have an ash tray?”

“Hmm,” the man eyed him, then pushed the tray over, “Of course I do.” 

It was silent after that. Naruto had _no fucking idea_ how to deal with this situation. He’s in the back of this hot clown’s van wanting to honk his nose. He’s practically half naked, and the doors are closed. There are no windows, and Sasuke has a cover up so nobody could see through the front either..

They were there. 

Alone. 

Away from everyone and everything. 

And only getting closer and closer to each other…

…Naruto suddenly felt slightly uncomfortable at the thought. He adjusted how he was sitting to hopefully help, but the way he could feel as Sasuke’s gaze burned into him..

“Naruto,” Sasuke spoke softly, yet firmly, and it grabbed his attention immediately.

He looked over to face him and ask what he wanted, but when he looked, the red nose was right in front of his face..

So close in fact, it was almost like they were about to..

“Yes, Sasuke?” He asked breathlessly. There was no way Sasuke was doing this all on purpose…

Right?

The space between them closed, and the squeak of Sasuke’s nose was all Naruto heard before he felt the softness of Sasuke’s mouth on his..

Oh my _Gods._

Sasuke is kissing him even though they had just met…

…and Naruto wasn’t about to make him stop.

He deepened the kiss, it was a little difficult with the nose, but he still managed somehow. Sasuke let his tongue slip through the other’s lips, and the gasp that Naruto let out…

The Uchiha pulled away, the smirk on his face turning into a slight chuckle. He pulled his nose off and squeezed it once before sticking it on the Uzumaki.

“You look like a clown,” he tilted his head, his bangs falling perfectly over his face, “and I think red is your color.”

Naruto took the nose off of his face and threw it at Sasuke. He was blushing immensely, “What’s all this about?”

“What do you mean?” Sasuke was tossing the nose back and forth between his hands, eyes not leaving Naruto.

“I mean..you just kissed me.”

“I did.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m into you,” he threw the nose back to Naruto, “obviously.”

“Wait..really?” Blue eyes widened as he caught it.

“Really,” the playful glint in Sasuke’s eyes was making Naruto’s stomach heat up.

“I uh,” he glanced away, “I’m into you, too.”

“I know Naruto. You’re hot for a fucking clown,” he was snickering. “Honk if you’re horny, am I right?”

“Hey! It’s only because _you’re_ hot! You just happen to be a clown! I don’t have a clown kink.”

“Oh really?” Sasuke leaned forward, taking the nose back from Naruto and sticking it on his face again, “So you’re saying you wouldn’t take me right now while I’m dressed like this in the back of this van? Even if I offered? Or..” the nose brushed against Naruto’s ear as he whispered, “begged?”

…he could not say that because it would be lying. Instead, Naruto put his hands on Sasuke’s shoulders and pushed him back so they were face-to-face.

“And you really wanna fuck some divorced dad you just met?”

“Only if you’ll let me, Daddy,” Sasuke winked.

“Don’t,” Naruto shook his head as he chuckled, “call me that, clown.”

“Make me.”

Naruto finished closing their space. The nose wasn’t that in the way at first, but at some point it got pushed off, squeaking as it fell to the floor. Their tongues brushed against each other, teeth clicking during certain angles. Sasuke adjusted so he was straddling Naruto, his hands running through blonde hair. The clown suit was kind of in the way, but neither of them cared about that at the moment.

All they focused on was how fucking _good_ it feels to be with each other this way.

Naruto’s hands moved up Sasuke’s sides, the tank top sliding up with them. His skin was slightly sticky from the sweat of being in a clown suit, and the fact that they’re sharing body heat in an enclosed van, but that only made it hotter somehow.

This was going to be messy…

And that’s exactly how Naruto wanted it.

Moans and groans were being passed between the two, then Naruto stopped kissing to pull Sasuke’s ponytail back, moving his mouth to the pale neck. He started with kisses, then little nibbles…

“So, Sasuke,” he purred against the wet part of the skin, and noticed the goosebumps that followed, “do I be gentle with you?”

The man went to answer, but all that came out was a whine as Naruto bit down hard enough for it to send a shock through his body, but not to draw blood.

“Or do you like it rough?”

Sasuke wrapped his legs around tighter around Naruto’s hips, “If you’re not hurting me, I don’t want it.”

_Fuck._

The fact that Sasuke still had the clown pants on made it so Naruto couldn’t rub against him properly, which is all he wanted to do. He wanted to feel Sasuke against him. 

It was frustrating.

“Take these pants off,” Naruto grumbled, trying to pull himself off of Sasuke, who was still entrapping him with his legs around him.

The man was clearly amused with the demand, but unwrapped his legs anyway, backing up, and placing his foot in Naruto’s lap, “Take them off for me.”

“God, Sasuke, you might kill me,” he leaned forward.

“Killed by a clown, huh?”

“Don’t,” Naruto couldn’t help the laugh, “God, really?”

He smirked.

Naruto started working Sasuke slowly out of the suit. He picked his hips up so it was easier to slide the pants off. It was hard to stay focused on the task at hand when his thoughts were going a million miles a minute. 

And it did _not_ help when he saw that Sasuke’s wearing tight black booty shorts underneath the suit….

…they were not hiding anything in the slightest..

Sasuke was clearly enjoying this, and just that thought alone made Naruto twitch. 

The outfit was pushed to the side. All that was left of Sasuke’s clown attire was just the messy makeup on his face from making out. Naruto planted their mouths together again. He pulled Sasuke forward, allowing him to climb back into his lap. Once adjusted, he pressed his hips against the others. The way Sasuke felt against Naruto made him groan, even though he was still in pants—

“You didn’t take yours off,” Sasuke said breathlessly as he pulled his mouth away.

“Hm, you’re right,” he bumped up against Sasuke, “lift yourself up.”

Naruto managed to slide out of his pants, and then Sasuke sat himself back down. 

“This is much better,” Sasuke grumbled as he rolled his hips, “Excited, are you?”

“You are too,” he pressed his face into Sasuke’s chest, “clearly.” He planted kisses, going lower and lover..

He picked up him, then placed him down on his back..sitting between his legs…

Sasuke’s ponytail was sprawled out on the floor, his lips were parted, and Naruto swears he’s blushing underneath the mess of makeup.

Naruto crawled over him, going down to kiss him—

“Wait.” Sasuke reached over, and then put the nose back on, “you wanted to fuck a clown, didn’t you?”

..yes the fuck he did.

He answered by kissing his lips first, and then moving down..

Lower..and lower..

Sasuke’s voice was soft, but Naruto could hear the little noises he was making as he was being kissed..

They were all he could focus on.

Once he at his hips, he nibbled a little, looking up at Sasuke watching him..

“What do you want?” Naruto asked before mouthing him through the shorts, “Hm, Sasuke?”

…he couldn’t let Sasuke do _all_ the teasing..

“Naruto, I swear to God—“

“Tell me.”

“Suck me off already,” he pushed Naruto’s face down, so he was rubbing against it through the shorts, “or I’ll make you.”

…Naruto has never been this hard in his life..

He pulled the shorts down. Sasuke really was beautiful everywhere. It had been a while since he had given head, but Naruto did remember…

He had no gag reflex.

He started by licking the tip, tasting what was dripping out, and savoring every moment of it. The gasps, the whines, the fingers tugging on his hair…

Finally started going deeper, lathering it in spit before continuing..

Lower..lower…

It was all in now, and Sasuke was less reserved. He started moving his hips, knowing full well Naruto could take it, and..he loved to..

“F-fuck Naruto..”

He made eye contact, hoping Sasuke could read his mind, _Oh yeah, you like that?_

“You feel..so..good..” Breathless.

_Beautiful._

“I-I’m gonna— Naru—“

Naruto made sure to keep bobbing as Sasuke finished, his voice breaking into a moan. After licking it all up, he sat up. Sasuke shakily following after him.

“Fuck,” Sasuke breathed out, “you really haven’t been laid in three years?”

“Or given head, to a dick, in about 7,” Naruto shrugged smugly, “Just a natural.”

“I’ll say,” he leaned forward, pressing his lips into the tan neck, “your turn?”

“Actually,” Naruto tilted his head, allowing Sasuke more access to his neck, “once you’re ready—“

“Wanna get straight to the fucking, do you?” He nipped down, then pulled away, making eye contact with Naruto, “Pervert.”

He honked Sasuke’s nose again, “I can’t help how you make me feel.”

They spent time kissing each other everywhere they could reach in their current position, and then Sasuke gave the okay to start..

And thankfully had lube in his car.

“Always prepared?”

“What kind of clown would I be if I wasn’t?”

Naruto worked Sasuke slowly, making sure to take note of his responses to how he was touched. Prepping him didn’t take too long, since he “plays with himself there often” as he put it… 

Naruto really was hooked already.

“Stick your ass up for me.”

Sasuke obliged, and Naruto pressed himself against the entrance.. 

This man at this angle..his back arch was perfect, his dark eyes looking over his shoulder eagerly…

He started slowly pushing in. Sasuke’s breaths were evening out—

“You okay?”

“You can go more.”

“R-really? B—“

“Naruto,” their eyes locked, “I already said, if it doesn’t hurt me, I don’t want it.”

…

….

….

“We need a safe word.”

“Let’s see,” Sasuke leaned his head down, “hmm..how about birthday-party? Not that we’ll need it.”

Naruto huffed, “Birthday party?”

“Yeah, considering it’s your sons’ right now, seems like instant boner kill—“

“Stop talking about it,” he demanded, “Now.”

Sasuke chuckled until Naruto continued to move, then noise broke into muffled sounds—

He was squeezing tightly, but loosened up after a little bit, which allowed Naruto to start fucking him properly. Finally.

As requested, he didn’t hold back, gripping his hips, hoping to leave bruises where his hands were..

Because that’s how Sasuke likes it.

His mouth was on the pale, sweaty back, leaving bite marks as he moved. When he felt like he got too close, he slowed down a bit, which always made Sasuke whine—

“D-don’t stop—“

He pulled Sasuke’s ponytail back, making him arch his back more, which he was _very_ able to do..flexible..

“I’m not finished with you yet,” Naruto purred in his ear, wanting to savor this.

After all, who knows when he’ll be able to fuck this clown again?

“Actually,” he let go of his hair, and then pulled out, “turn over.”

Sasuke obliged, laying down on his back. Naruto placed himself between his legs, and pressed against him again.

“Do you want it?”

“Fuck me, Naruto.”

He would’ve given in right then, but before that..he leaned forward, brushing his nose against the round red one before pressing down for the noise, “Honk,” he smirked.

Sasuke pushed himself onto Naruto out of impatience, and _God_ he wanted to pretend to be mad about it, but—

“U-ugh fuck—“

“Don’t fuck with me,” he smirked, rolling his hips.

“I thought you wanted me to,” the other chuckled breathlessly before pushing himself in more, hitting the spot that made Sasuke moan the loudest he had—

Neither of them could hold back anymore.

“Shit, hey—“

“N-Naru~— I— fuck—“

“S-S-Sasu—“

“Don’t st-stop—“

“F-fuck—“

“Right— the—“

“Sasuke— I’m—“

“C-cumming—“

“Sasu—“

“Naruto—“

Naruto quickly wrapped his hand around, pumping Sasuke as they rode their orgasms out together.

After a moment, Naruto pulled himself out.

They were both sticky, sweaty messes, but oh were they pleased.

Naruto laid down next to Sasuke, their breathing both heavy and in sync.

“Fuck, I need a window opened. I might die.”

“Pussy,” Sasuke sat up, grabbing a towel and wiping himself off with it, “Let’s get dressed first.”

Once both were cleaned off and dressed, Sasuke opened the trunk again.

“Another smoke before you go in?” He asked as he crawled to the edge of the trunk where Naruto was sitting, legs dangling.

“Sure,” he smiled softly. “Your makeup is a mess by the way.” He laughed while grabbing the cigarette offered to him.

“Says you,” Sasuke retorted before putting his own cigarette between his lips and lighting it. He still had the nose on, too.

_Fucking loser._

Naruto suddenly realized this would all be over soon..

His gut dropped slightly. He was actually super interested in Sasuke. Not just anyone would fuck a divorced dad while dressed as a clown in the back of their van..at the kids’ birthday party.

He didn’t want this all to end—

“So Naruto,” as if he was reading his mind, Sasuke spoke, “you gonna give me your number? Or am I just some clown you fucked one time?”

They both laughed, Naruto leaning in to light his cigarette off of Sasuke’s. Their eyes didn’t leave each other.

“If I didn’t snatch you up, I’d be the clown,” he answered, smoke blowing out his mouth as he did, “Let’s go on a date.”

“When?”

Their hands were next to each other on the van, so Naruto slid his closer..letting their fingers touch, “Whenever you’re free, Sasuke.”

“I’m free right now, Naruto,” he laced their fingers together.

“Now?” Their eyes met, “Well then, wanna come meet my ex-wife, kids, and all my friends and their kids after this?”

“We have to fix our makeup first,” he chuckled, “but yeah. I do.”

They finished their cigarettes, making small talk, learning little details about each other. Sasuke brought out his makeup wipes and cleaned them both off, and then they held hands as they walked to the door.

Everyone was still there. Naruto’s friends eyed him knowingly, while Boruto and Himawari were instantly in Sasuke’s face, asking him if he was Naruto’s boyfriend.

“I am Daddy’s boyfriend, yes,” he smiled softly, “is that alright with you?”

Himawari nodded, “You’re pretty like Mommy.”

He blushed lightly, and Naruto chuckled, “He is, isn’t he?”

Boruto was eyeing him suspiciously, “You seem familiar.”

“Do I?” He tilted his head, knowing that the boy was too clever to not catch on, so he brought his hand up and mouthed, “Sh.”

The kid nodded once, happy to be part of a secret, and then pulled Himawari away to play with him and his friends.

“So, you two get along as well as I thought you would?” Sakura asked when Naruto walked into the kitchen to get a drink. 

“Better,” Sasuke smirked.

“Naruto’s a clown fucker?” Kiba asked then, and blue eyes glared—

“Yes,” Sasuke answered.

…Naruto couldn’t even say anything. He had to take the laughter and jokes because yes, today he was seduced by the hottest clown to _ever_ exist…

And yes, he would fuck him like that again.

Sasuke Uchiha pulls anything off.

If that made him a clown fucker, then….

Naruto’s a clown fucker.

**Author's Note:**

> ....i do really hope you enjoyed it ;~;
> 
>   
> (also some ppl have noticed, but i put a little easter egg in there. naruto says he sucked a dick 7 years ago, but it’s boruto’s 10th bday...
> 
>  _he, hinata, and kiba has a threesome._ )


End file.
